“Christmas is the most wonderful time of year!” “I dread the holidays!” No matter which camp you fall in we can all agree that the holidays frequently bring a season of stress. Good and bad stress. The question arises how do we control holiday stress?
Good and Bad Stress
This may come as a shock to you, but stress can be both good and bad. Good things can cause your brain to release the same stress hormones as bad stressors. If Christmas is the most wonderful time of year the excitement, activities, and change of schedule can still elicit stress.
For others the holidays bring anxiety. Family dynamics are a huge stressor. The cost of Christmas presents, missing family members, and disappointing plans can all cause a level of stress and anxiety.
No matter our feelings on the holidays we can all use a few tips to control holiday stress.
Control Holiday Stress with Expectations
What are your expectations for the holidays? Do you have a picture in your mind that is only available in a Hallmark movie? Is Christmas a time that you feel you need to make everything picture perfect?
Take a minute to think about what is important to you for the holidays? What are your expectations? Are your expectations realistic? If you are disappointed every year take some time to adjust your expectations.
The beauty of life is that it isn’t perfect. Think back on some of your best memories. Are they of times when everything was perfect or are some of your fondest memories of moments that went awry?
For my family, some of the things we laugh about the most are the times when things were less than perfect. The year the Christmas tree fell over or the year I was so sick my brother had to help me open my presents.
My mom is an interior designer and an amazing hostess. Her house is picture-perfect Christmas and her meals are delicious. Christmas at my mom’s house is usually picture perfect. My family doesn’t joke about the perfect Christmases. They laugh and joke about the Christmases that were not perfect.
Keep it Simple
Christmas is an amazing time of year. We can fill it with Christmas parties, family gatherings, light viewing, Santa visiting, cookie baking, Christmas shopping, ice skating, and nights by the fire. All of this can be exhausting.
Think about your priorities. What is most important to you this year? Focus on your priorities. If you love baking cookies with the family then put that on your calendar. It is ok if you don’t do everything on the list this year.
Don’t forget to take time to relax and enjoy the season. If you feel like you are rushing from place to place it is time to take a look at your priorities. What can you cut out for this year? It is ok to not do everything. That is the beauty of Christmas. It comes around every year. Save something to look forward to next year.
Comparison is Crushing
Are you competitive? Do you need to be the biggest, brightest, and the best? Is your house the one that lights up the entire neighborhood? Do you have to give the best gifts? When you see someone post something on social media to you feel that you need to top it?
Comparison is crushing. Pause for a moment and think about the things you post on social media? Very likely you post the best of the best. How long did it take for you to get your kids to smile at the camera? People like to post the best of the best.
Rarely do people post about the mistakes, the falling over Christmas tree, the burnt cookies, or the kids fighting. You don’t always see the fight over hanging the Christmas lights or the stress of shopping for the perfect gift.
Remember, what you see on social media is only a snapshot of their life. You don’t have to be better than your neighbor, your sister, or your co-worker. Be you and do what you can do.
Remember the Reason for the Season
Why do you celebrate the holidays? Do you celebrate Christmas because it is Jesus’ birthday? Do you celebrate the holidays because it is a time to spend with family and be thankful for the things you have?
Remind yourself of the reason you celebrate the holidays. When you keep this in perspective that perfect gift or the most beautiful cookies lose their importance.
Remember what is important and cherish what you have. Give to others. You will increase your joy just by the act of giving. Not only will you increase your joy, but you will increase the joy of those that witness you helping others. Those things pale in comparison to the help that you provide to someone in need.
With a few simple steps, you can control the stress of the holidays.
If you want to teach your kids how to control their stress check out The Mind Trek SEL Program for students.
