So many of our students struggle with failure. They are so afraid to fail that they don’t even try. One of the biggest challenges in SEL is to instill grit into our students. How do we help our students understand that failure is OK if you keep trying? We need to start teaching students how to turn failure into success.

Mindset

There is a mindset among many of our students that failure is a bad thing. It means they aren’t good, smart, talented, or skilled enough. We must change their thinking. The growth mindset movement certainly pushes this. We teach students that they might not have it yet, which is different because they won’t ever have it. 

Failure is simply a sign that our students are trying. Trying and failing is so much more valuable than never trying at all. I often ask my students to think about a toddler learning to walk. I ask them what most often happens when someone is learning to walk. They usually laugh and tell me that they have fallen. So then I probe further and ask them how often toddlers fall before they can walk. They laugh again and tell me a lot. That is when I give them that counselor look. You know, the look that encourages them to think, and you are just hoping inside your brain they are making the connections you have laid before them.

Usually, they respond with that middle-school eye roll. Which magically opens the door to the reality that is before them. 

Teaching Failure

They finally get it! You HAVE to fail to learn. That is great and worthy of celebration, but how do we make it stick when life gets hard and they are no longer sitting in your office?

Download these lessons for Middle and High School Students.

Promote a Positive Failure Attitude

Create a climate in your school, home, or classroom that promotes an attitude of positive failure. My favorite Disney movie is Meet the Robinsons. The entire movie is about celebrating failure. Add failure celebrations to your classroom or school. 

Encourage a Growth MindsetWe have read articles and books on having a growth mindset. Encourage students that failure is just another way to learn. It doesn’t mean they will never get it; they just haven’t gotten it yet. Every time their brains fail, they create new pathways. Sometimes creating pathways takes a little time.

Emphasize Grit

Failing is no big deal when you keep trying. Even when we get students over the initial failure hump, they are often paralyzed after they fail. They might have learned that it is OK to try, but they don’t know what to do once they fail. Try and try and try again. I like to show students that some really famous people have had some colossal failures. This puts failure in perspective. Sometimes it is so difficult for our students to see the big picture. Check out this awesome video on failure with a free lesson plan! This begins with teaching students how to turn failure into success.

Celebrate Effort and Lessons

As a counselor, I see students constantly after they have made a mistake. Most of their mistakes are poor choices that have landed them in trouble. There are always consequences for failure. Sometimes it might be a poor grade, or other times it is a punishment. It is helpful to point out the lesson learned. I turn this back on the students and ask them what they have learned. This can be used for academics as well. 

Perhaps they learned how not to solve a math problem. Maybe they learned that it is important to study for a test. Sometimes they learned that getting angry and hitting someone isn’t the best way to handle their emotions. Students come up with some really amazing lessons when given the opportunity to reflect. 

Take time to celebrate effort and improvement. Celebrating effort and improvement encourages the learning process. For some students, school is just really difficult. When failure is a constant, a little encouragement can go a long way! Teaching students to change their mindset on failure can be difficult. There is no magic approach. Creating a positive failure attitude can take time and encouragement. Use this lesson below to help your students see they are not alone in failure. 

Check out our free sample lessons here!